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Attention all Extreme Sports Athletes; we are sorry to inform you that the Springfield tryouts for this year’s X Sport Competition have been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances…
The only remaining tryout will be held in Pasadena, two thousand miles west of here. Registration begins tomorrow at noon. If you want to make it there on time, we suggest you start moving now. Again, we’re sorry for the bummer news. Good luck and godspeed!